


all the weather and storms i bring (are just a picture of my needs)

by The_Werewolf_of_Bauhaus



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Aged-Up Rin, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, F/M, Post-Canon, Teenage Rin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26282317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Werewolf_of_Bauhaus/pseuds/The_Werewolf_of_Bauhaus
Summary: While traveling with Sesshoumaru, Rin meets a woman in a village who causes her to remember her past and contemplate the life she narrowly escaped. But when tragedy strikes, will the trauma left by the horrors of her childhood lead her to murderous intent?
Relationships: Rin & Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Rin/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title is from 'Honestly' by Zwan.

“In the mountains...

in the forest...

in the wind...

in my dreams...

Sesshoumaru-sama, where are you?

With faithful Jaken-sama-”

Rin abruptly ceased singing at Jaken's name. She pulled her head back from where it had been laying against Sesshoumaru's shoulder and pressed her hands against his chest. "Nee, Rin misses Jaken-sama. Don't you wish he was here so we all could be together again?"

"No."

Rin pouted and leaned back against his shoulder, sighing nostalgically. "When Rin was living with Kaede-sama she always imagined what it would be like when we were together again. Somehow, I always thought it would same as it was before," she said wistfully, "but that time is gone, isn't it?"

The youkai held her face in his hand and brushed his clawed thumb across her cheek.

"I, Sesshoumaru, prefer things as they are now," he stated before pulling her in to kiss her. "Do you not?" he asked after they broke apart.

Rin shook her head and smiled at him. "No, it's better now."

"What do you think is better about it?" he breathed, his voice husky and warm and his face displaying that threatening curve of his mouth that could almost be called a smile.

Rin tapped her chin, considering the question. "Weeelll," she began, "I haven't been chased by wolves, Naraku's not around anymore, strange people haven't been trying to kidnap me…"

Sesshoumaru's brows knitted together. "And?"

“And? Hmmm...let’s see," she said as picked at a loose thread on her kimono. "Well, Rin can walk a lot further now and doesn’t need to rest as much so that gives poor A-Un a break from having to carry me around,” she gave the grazing beast a nod of acknowledgment, “and what else?” she asked herself, “Oh! I haven’t died again. That’s a big one...”

“That’s it?” Sesshoumaru asked, looking at her seductively. He pushed her thick, dark hair away from her face and cupped her cheek. “You can’t think of anything else?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Rin said coyly, “not unless you can think of something else–Oh!” She yelped as Sesshoumaru caught her by the waist and pinned her to the ground as she shrieked playfully.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××× 

Rin held her breath and disappeared under the water before emerging back up several moments later and tossing her head back. The cold water of the pond felt so wonderful and refreshing. The last few days had been brutally hot. The summer had only just begun too and she knew it was only going to get hotter. That thought alone made her hold another breath and dunk herself back underwater.

When she emerged again she looked behind her for her youkai and saw him lying on the ground against a tree, his eyes closed. The only disruption to his stillness came when he cracked open one eye in warning to A-Un, who had decided that the grass around his head looked particularly succulent.

“Nee! Sesshoumaru-sama! You should come in too!” she called to him.

He didn’t bother looking over as he dismissed her invitation.

“The water feels so nice though!” _Dogs are supposed to love the water_ , was a thought she had but wisely kept to herself. He had no practical reason to join her. He was always pristine; through no visible effort she’d ever witnessed, and no amount of heat ever seemed to bother him. But Rin was starting to feel like she might permanently die before she got to see what his hair looked like when it was wet.

When she was ready to get out she grabbed the cloth by the pond’s edge and pulled herself from the water. As she wiped herself dry she wandered up to Sesshoumaru, still lying in repose against the tree.

“Nee, Sesshoumaru.”

His eyes opened slowly and he regarded her. “Hmm.”

“Why don’t you ever peek at me when I’m bathing?”

“I’m well aware of what you look like naked,” he answered.

She slowly rubbed the cloth into her dripping hair, leaving her body completely exposed. “I know that,” she said, “but don’t you like the way I look?”

She knelt down in front of him and crossed her arms over his propped up knee. “Because it’s so hot lately, maybe I won’t wear my kimono anymore and I was worried it might be a distraction but if my body is so _boring_ to you-”

Sesshoumaru took her arm and pulled her into his lap. Her stomach dropped at the sudden physical action and the hot flush of her skin made her dip in the pond seem suddenly worthless. The youkai put one hand on her waist and leaned down to put his lips on hers. Rin pushed her hands into his kimono to feel his bare chest and he used the hand not on her hip to pull the garment down off his shoulder.

When she felt him getting hard she stopped moving in his lap and pulled back with a sudden need to ask him something. “Sesshoumaru-sama?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think we’ll have a baby soon?”

The youkai raised his eyebrows slightly at her question. “Why? Are you in a hurry?” he asked skeptically. Even by human standards, Rin was a very young woman.

“No, but…” she began to explain, “Don't you feel like it would be really nice? It would be like having a whole family again.” 

“A whole family,” he repeated.

“Rin hasn't had a whole family in long time," she said, playing with the ends of her hair. "One with a mother and a father and brothers and sisters,” there was a dreamy quality to her voice. "Not for a very _long_ time."

Sesshoumaru had never really considered Rin’s family before, the one that had died before he’d met her, and she’d never mentioned them to him. The only time he’d really bothered to ask about the subject was when she’d first started following him after he revived her with Tenseiga. _Do you have parents? Will they wonder where you’ve gone?_ But she hadn’t answered him; having yet to regain her ability to speak.

They were questions he already knew the answers to anyway. Sesshoumaru didn’t need to know much about humans to recognize extreme neglect, and the fact that she followed him without hesitation only confirmed his suspicions. She was clearly an orphan for she had no one back in that village who would miss her.

It was Kohaku who had told him what he had learned about Rin’s family. That her parents and brothers had been killed by bandits before her eyes and that she had been living in that village, alone and unable to speak, ever since. If Sesshoumaru had been told this before Rin’s second resurrection he probably would have wondered at why the bandits had spared her life. Instead he merely found it unsurprising that she would be the sole survivor of a massacre. No matter the target evidently placed on her by the universe, Rin simply refused to stay dead.

Rin gazed up at him softly, waiting for his reaction.

Sesshoumaru thought about how long it would have been for her, to have been without her family. A decade, more or less; nothing to him but obviously significant for her. He reached out and held a lock of her damp hair in his fingers. A dark thought played across his mind. _I, Sesshoumaru, have enemies that could ruin a family in ways a pack of human bandits could only imagine._

Yet, before he leaned in to kiss her neck and resume his attentions, he looked into her dark, bewitching eyes–half lidded with tenderness and yearning and love–and he knew the reality of that thought would change nothing.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

It was a short time later when Rin informed the youkai that she had spotted a lively-looking village from their forest path and convinced him to stop for a day or two so she could explore it. It was one of the largest Rin had ever seen; with multiple multi-storied buildings and it’s own marketplace. She carried a jangling purse filled with coins with her down the village; money she’d earned for a dowry she knew she’d never need, but Kaede-sama had insisted.

Rin made her way down the path to the village. Looking off into the distance, she could see the monastery that the market had sprung up around. She headed in the direction of the monastery, following voices in the distance as they became louder and louder. Eventually, she came upon a road lined with vendors that was crowded with more people than she’d ever seen at one time. As she ambled down the busy street, on the lookout for anything that would interest her, she passed several groups of men dressed identically to Miroku-sama—monks from the monastery—along with the throng of villagers.

What she also found was more food than she’d ever seen in one place before. Rin curiously eyed the rows of stalls. She wandered up to one that smelled particularly enticing and realized she didn’t recognize any of the foods it was advertising. The vendor looked at her expectantly.

“What can I do you for, Ma’am?”

“What’s that one called?” she asked, pointing to one of the selections.

“That’s a tofu skewer,” the vendor replied.

“And that one?” she pointed to another.

“That’s a tofu pouch.”

“What’s that black one?”

“That’s fermented tofu.”

“Are they all tofu?”

“Tofu is all I sell,” the vendor assured her. “Most of my customers are the monks from the monastery and none of them’ll eat meat.”

“Rin will try all of them,” she said, pulling out her purse.

“Sure thing, little lady, as long as you’re paying,” the vendor said.

“You sure you can carry all of that?” he asked as he handed her the wrapped fermented tofu.

“Mm hmm,“ Rin said, shoving the tofu skewer in her mouth in order to free up a hand to take the item, “issnotahprobrem." She paid the vendor and put her purse away so she could take the tofu pouch.

A half an hour later Rin was munching on a rice ball—another one of her purchases—while she explored the market some more. She passed a merchant selling fruit and made a plan to definitely take a melon back with her before she left. Away from the food stalls she wandered into a fragrant-smelling section of merchants selling fabric, beads and even make-up. The aroma eventually led her to a perfume dealer, who intrigued her even though the idea of wearing perfume had never occurred to her before.

The perfumer let her smell the various scents she had to offer. There were scents that smelled like flowers—cherry blossom and plum blossom, hydrangea—and ones that smelled like incense or spices. Some were so pungent she nearly gagged. She took the bottle the perfumer offered her next and inhaled it; it smelled like mandarin oranges. _Would Sesshoumaru-sama like it if she wore perfume?_ She wondered. Or would he hate it? He did have a very sensitive nose after all.

Rin thanked the perfumer for her time but declined any of the fragrances. She stood up and opened her purse to count how much money she had left, when, from out of nowhere, the bag was snatched out of her hand. “Hey!” she shouted. The thief took a look back at her and then took off sprinting down the road. She went after him, chasing him down the crowded marketplace street. She caught a block of purple and black as she accidentally knocked into into one of the monks.

“Oh!” she yelped as she put her hand to her mouth and skidded back, “Hoshi-sama, I’m so sorry.”

“Ah, my good lady, may I be of service to you?” The monk smiled good-naturedley at her.

“That man just robbed me!” She pointed down the street.

He pressed his hands together in prayer. “Good lady, you must learn to let go of earthly possessions—”

“I don’t have time for that!” Rin shouted as she pushed past the monk and continued her pursuit. She spotted the thief again beyond her as he looked back and quickened his pace. When he came upon a sake merchant’s stall he suddenly made a sharp turn down an alley. Jerking her head towards his direction, Rin collided abruptly with the sake stall.

“Ow,” Rin muttered as she fell backward onto the street amid the sounds of bottles hitting the ground and splashing liquid. She staggered to her feet just as a hand roughly grabbed her arm. “Ow!” she cried again. The face of the man who had grabbed her was red with anger.

“Look at what you’ve done!” he shouted, pointing to the ground.

Rin looked and saw the empty bottles of sake lying in the road, their contents spilled out and being absorbed into the dirt.

“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to; I was chasing a man who stole my money—”

“I don’t care what you were doing!” the red-faced man interrupted her. “You’ve destroyed my merchandise!”

“Umm...uhh…” Rin stammered nervously. “It’s okay, I can pay for it!”

“You can? Thought a man stole your money?” the merchant said, sneering at her.

“Rin has more,” she said, trying unsuccessfully to wrench her arm from his grasp. “If you would just let me go—”

“That trick won’t work on me. What a reckless girl! Do you know how many meals my family is going to miss because I couldn’t sell that sake!” He pulled his hand back with the intent to strike her and Rin flinched in anticipation.

“Excuse me, Nozomu-san.”

Rin looked toward the owner of the voice that had just spoken. It was a young, rather pretty woman in a blue kimono. She was carrying a package and had a little boy at her side, holding her hand.

“Tsuchi,” the merchant addressed her, “I’m in the middle of dealing with this hooligan right now.”

“I can see that Nozomu-san,” the woman—Tsuchi, spoke, “and I thought maybe we could work something out so you can let this poor woman go.”

The man loosened his grip on Rin’s arm. “Well, that depends,” he eye'd the parcel Tsuchi held, “you got anything that’s worth all this sake she ruined?” he asked, gesturing to the spilled mess on the ground.

The woman removed her hand from the little boy’s for a moment and offered her parcel to the merchant. “Why don’t you take this in exchange. Cured hamachi; I’m sure your family will enjoy it very much.”

Rin felt a pang of guilt at the woman’s benevolence. “You don’t have to do that on my behalf, it was my fault” she insisted. She pleaded with the merchant, “If you would just let me go get more money–”

“Quiet, you!” he snapped, finally letting go of her and turning his attention back to Tsuchi. “Cured hamachi, huh?”

“Yes, given to me by a patron of mine. I’m afraid he didn’t realize I can’t eat fish, but I couldn’t refuse.”

“A patron, eh,” the merchant said, taking the parcel from Tsuchi and inspecting it. Once he was satisfied he turned back to Rin with a scowl. “Run along now, little girl, and watch where you’re going!”

He went back to his business and Rin was about to thank the woman for her kindness when the little boy who had been standing idly by tugged at his mother’s kimono. She noticed he was glaring at her. “Oka, why did you do that?” he whined, “We were going to trade that fish for something good and you wasted it helping her!” The boy pointed at Rin.

“Ichi!” his mother scolded. “That’s very rude. We don’t say things like that in front of people.”

“No, he’s right,” Rin said, “Tsuchi, was it? You didn’t have to do that for me. Would you let me repay you?”

“You _better_ ,” the little boy muttered under his breath.

“Ichi!”

“Rin can’t repay you for the fish right now, but I have, umm–” Rin fumbled around in her obi and produced a rice ball. “You can have this rice ball if you want.” Tsuchi raised an eyebrow. “Ooh, or, do you like fermented tofu? It has a really interesting taste...I’m pretty sure it’s mold, actually.”

“No, that’s quite alright,” Tsuchi declined. “If you’d like to repay me later, that would be fine.”

Rin stuck the rice ball back into her obi and looked curiously at the other woman. “So, why were you going to trade the fish? Do you not eat meat like the monks? Are you a Buddhist?”

“Oh no,” Tsuchi said, “I can't eat fish because it makes me very sick. My parents would try to feed it to me as a child but I would break out in hives. I even stopped breathing once but they brought me a Miko and she was able to heal me. After that, I never ate it ever again.”

“That’s too bad,” Rin said, “not be able to eat fish at all.”

“Not really,” Tsuchi said, then continued sadly, “it actually ended up saving my life.”

“How is that?”

“When I was still a young girl, there was a terrible incident in my village,” she began. “Many of the villagers all got sick at the same time, they all had the symptoms of food poisoning and almost all of them died. Eventually they figured out that there was something wrong with the fish from the preserve because everyone who had eaten it had gotten sick but by then it was too late.”

“That’s awful,” Rin said.

“They said a youkai cursed the fish but I don’t know what really caused them to turn poisonous,” Tsuchi said. “All I knew was that I had just lost my entire family.”

“My family died when I was young too,” Rin told her, sympathetically. “My parents and my brothers were killed by bandits. Rin was the only one who survived.”

“Did you have any other family?”

Rin kicked a stray rock as she walked down the market street with her new friend. “No, Rin had no one. The villagers claimed they took care of me but they really didn’t. Nothing from them ever came without a beating and they acted like I should be grateful they didn’t just toss me in the river so they wouldn’t have to look at me anymore.”

“I had no other family either,” Tsuchi said as she was struck by a memory, “except for _Ojii-san_ but he was crazy. The man wore a cape made from dried oni skins and thought he was married to Amaterasu. He would attack the other villagers because he thought they were trying to steal her from him.” She realized she was rambling and resumed her earlier story. “I’m surprised I even managed to survive on my own. I left with the remaining villagers after they abandoned our lands but they weren’t any more kinder to me than your's were to you.”

Tsuchi’s gaze turned toward the monastery where it sat high above the village on a mountain top. “That’s what I like about living in this place. I know that if something ever happened to me, the monks would not allow my little Ichi to be mistreated,” she said, as she looked down at the little boy holding her hand.

“Nee, Tsuchi-chan; could Rin ask you something?”

“Yes?”

“Since I lost all my money, could you buy me a melon? I’ll pay you back.”

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

“Thank you again for paying for the melon,” Rin said to Tsuchi as she carried the fruit up the path to the forest.

“No, problem,” Tsuchi replied, following along beside her. “So, Rin-chan, this Sesshoumaru-sama of yours; is he a samurai perhaps?”

“Oh no,” Rin said, “he’s a youkai.”

“A _youkai_ ,” the woman repeated as she glanced at her son in alarm.

“Mm hmm, that’s not a problem is it?”

"Umm…"

"Oh, there he is! Nee! Sesshoumaru-sama!"

The woman from the village found herself face to face with the inu youkai, neither of them having expected the awkward encounter. They stared blankly at each other for a few moments before Rin mercifully broke the tense silence.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Look what I got," Rin held the melon up for him to see then turned to her two companions. "And this is my friend Tsuchi-chan and her son, Ichi."

"Nice to meet you," Tsuchi said to Sesshoumaru who said nothing.

Rin put the melon down and began searching around in her pack for the money to repay Tsuchi. She noticed, disappointed, that the day's adventure had made a significant dent in her already rather pitiful dowry.

The boy clutching Tsuchi's hand stared up at the tall, silver-haired youkai. "Are you going to eat us?"

"Ichi!"

Sesshoumaru ignored the boy and addressed Tsuchi. "You're Rin's friend?"

"Uh, well, I guess so. We just met this afternoon."

Rin came up to Tsuchi with the money she'd gotten from her pack. "Here you go; this should cover everything."

"Thank you. It was uh...nice meeting you," she said before saying goodbye to Rin. "Sayonara, Rin-chan. Let's go Ichi," she said her son, leading him away.

"Sayonara!" Rin called after them.

"Hmm…what was that all about?"

"Oh, I kind of got into a little bit of trouble back in the village. No big deal. But she helped me out." Rin replied, looking for a rock to break open the melon with. "She has a lot of money for a peasant. I don't know what she does. She mentioned something about a patron and I was going to ask about it but I forgot."

"Your friend is a prostitute."

"What?" Rin asked, puzzled as she looked back at the direction Tsuchi had left in. "Why would you think Tsuchi-chan's a prostitute?"

“Her scent.”

“Oh, what does she smell like?”

“Like she's lain with dozens of different men,” Sesshoumaru told her, the scent still lingering around his nostrils. The distinct odor of numerous human males, some stronger and more recent, others faint. The musk of fornication that had been left behind.

“Dozens?” Rin said in confusion. “Like, all at the same time? How would that even work…” Rin paused her musing as she swore she heard an uncharacteristic snicker behind her. She turned to face Sesshoumaru and saw the subtle upward curve of his mouth.

“No, Rin; not all at the same time,” the youkai said turning his back to her and walking a couple paces ahead of her with a slight dip of his head.

“I–” Rin started, watching him start to walk away, “Nee, Sesshoumaru-sama!” the astonished girl called, “Are you _laughing_ at me!”

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Rin had succeeded in breaking open her melon and was happily munching away with Sesshoumaru's head lying in her lap.

“Nee, Sesshoumaru-sama. Do you think I’m–”

“You’re not pregnant.”

“How did you know I was gonna ask–” she cut herself short and took another bite of melon, “nnevermnnd,” she ceded through a mouthful of fruit. The juices from the melon were running down her hand and as she lifted the slice to mouth a droplet fell from it and onto the corner of the youkai’s mouth, falling down the side of his chin. He opened his eyes and took her hand in his. Rin transferred the melon slice to her other hand and Sesshoumaru pulled her hand down to his mouth and gently dragged his tongue across her palm.

“Nee, I thought you didn’t like human food.”

“Your hands are sticky,” he told her.

“You really seem like a dog when you do that,” Rin said as he stopped licking her fingers and pressed them against his lips. He inhaled, his nose catching the whiff of alcohol.

“Have you been drinking?”

“No,” Rin responded, confused. Why would he think she’d been drinking? Rin liked her sake just as much as the next girl but it was in short supply in the dense forests and grassy plains she traveled with Sesshoumaru. That reminded her; she should go back to the village the next day while she still could and pick up a bottle.

Sesshoumaru sniffed at her kimono sleeve and ran his hand up the fabric and along her arm while Rin wondered why she hadn’t thought to get a bottle while she was still in the village that afternoon. _Oh right_ , she thought, _her money had been stolen and she’d—_

“What’s this?” the youkai’s voice broke into her reverie. He was holding the fabric of her kimono up to her elbow and frowning at the underside of her arm. She craned her head to look and saw a dark purplish bruise about the size and shape of a thumbprint.

_The sake merchant_. “Eh, that’s nothing” she insisted, moving her arm from his hands and covering it with the fabric. Sensing his doubt, she explained what had happened in the village earlier that day.

“Do you want me to do anything about it?” Sesshoumaru asked her.

“No, no…" she said, "I'd rather just forget about it."

To her relief, he let it go and she relaxed again. She finished the rest of her melon and thought about the incident earlier that day. Tsuchi, showing up to save the day for her—a complete stranger. She remembered Nozomu-san preparing to strike her and frowns at the idea of having to come back to Sesshoumaru-sama with more than a tiny, insignificant bruise.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, do you really think Tsuchi-chan is a prostitute?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Hmm.’ Rin climbed into the youkai’s lap, putting her arms around his neck. "Do prostitutes really let men do whatever they want to them if they pay them?"

"I, Sesshoumaru, have never lowered myself to take one as company but I suppose that they do."

Rin considered this. "Rin would let Sesshoumaru-sama do whatever he wants to her and you don’t even have to pay her."

He smirked slightly. “Is that so?” She nodded and he pulled her in close to him. “What makes you think I don’t do that anyway?” the youkai murmured into her neck. “Hmm? What more do you expect of me?”

Rin giggled at the ticklish sensation of his breath on her neck and pulled her head back to face him as an impulse struck her. “We should ask Tsuchi-chan to come with us.”

Sesshoumaru frowned. “You don’t like the idea?” Rin asked. “She’s pretty, don’t you think?”

The youkai studied her face. “Why?”

“She thinks _you’re_ good-looking. I know she does, she told me she thought so.”

“...When?”

“ _Weell_ ,” she drawled out and then ignored the question, “Rin was just thinking that if you ever wanted to take another wife it would be great if it was a really kind lady like Tsuchi-chan.”

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. “You would share me?”

Rin nodded. “Rin wouldn’t mind sharing Sesshoumaru-sama. As long as we could be together it wouldn't matter how many other wives there were,” she assured him. “Rin would be just as happy if she had be the second wife or the third wife," she lovingly counted them her fingers, "or the eleventh wife or the twelfth wife—”

Sesshoumaru ceased humoring her and pressed his mouth against hers. “There will be no other wives,” he said as he drew his lips away.

“You don’t like Tsuchi-chan?”

“You’ve just met her,” Sesshoumaru reminded her.

Rin swung her body around so she was still sitting in his lap but her legs dangled over his side and she nervously tapped her feet on the ground. “Rin...misses having other people around sometimes," she admitted. "Like Kagome-chan and Sango-chan. When I lived with Kaede-sama in the village they were my friends,” she said. "And I like to imagine that one day, you’d have a big harem with lots of fun girls and those girls would all be my friends.”

“ _A harem_ ,” Sesshoumaru repeated, more than a little amused.

“Mm hmm, and we could all live in a castle; like the one your mother lives in and every night we’d have parties and we’d drink sake and braid each other's hair and talk about how much we love Sesshoumaru-sama.”

He placed a clawed hand on the top of her head and gave it a teasing shake. “This is what goes on in your mind.”

“Mmm.”

The youkai began to ruffle her hair until she gently batted his hand away with a smile. “So the wives would be more for your benefit than mine.” he clarified.

Rin shrugged and kicked up her heels. “I suppose so, but it would still be _your_ harem.”

_How her fantasies had changed_. When Rin had been a child her wish had been to stay with Sesshoumaru forever and now that she’d received that her desire had become to spend that forever sharing him with others; be they children or friends or lovers. The children he’ll acquiesce to–he’s made his peace with that–but as long as she breathes; his wife, his companion and his mistress will be the same. That was the desire she needn’t pay him for.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

The next day, Rin decided to go back to the village to visit Tsuchi. After asking around a bit she found out that she lived at the edge of the village, at the boundary between the farmlands and the forest. She wandered around and knew she had found the right hut when she saw Ichi sitting on the ground outside, skinning a hare.

“Did you catch that yourself, Ichi?” Rin asked the boy as she approached.

The boy smiled proudly. “Yeah, I caught him out in the bushes.”

“Good for you. By the way; is your mother here?”

“Oka has a client,” he responded, preoccupied with his hare.

Rin looked at the hut and as if on cue, she could hear loud voices arguing inside. With an angry exclamation, a man burst through the curtained doorway and Rin was struck with a shock of recognition. It was the sake merchant from the day before. He obviously recognized her too because he stopped dead and widened his eyes when he noticed her standing there. “Not you again,” he muttered as he stalked in her direction. Rin moved aside to let him pass but he made sure to brush her shoulder as he stomped back in the direction of the village.

Ahead of her, Tsuchi moved the grass curtain aside, clearly distressed, but smiled when she saw Rin. “Rin-chan, how did you find me?”

“I asked around,” Rin answered, “It wasn’t hard; you seem to be quite well known around here.” She bit her tongue, suddenly realizing that maybe she shouldn’t have phrased it like that but Tsuchi didn’t blanch.

“Did Ichi show you the hare he caught?”

“Yes he did,” Rin said, looking at the boy, “and I see he already knows how to skin one. You must be very lucky; having a son who’s such a help to you.” The child grinned at her praise.

“Rin, why don’t you come in for some tea?” Tsuchi offered.

“Thank you, that would be great,” Rin said. Tsuchi held open the curtain for her and she entered the hut.

“It’s probably none of my business,” Rin told the other woman as she poured tea into her cup, “but that man; he wasn’t threatening you was he?”

“It was a minor disagreement,” Tsuchi insisted, shaking her head.

Rin wondered if it was. They had acted friendly at the market the other day, hadn’t they? But they had also acted in a way that wouldn’t have led Rin to believe that Nozomu-san was the woman’s ‘client’. She thumbed at the area of her kimono that hid a dark, painful spot beneath it.

“Do the men who...visit you, do they all treat you like that?”

Tsuchi’s eyes widened slightly but her surprise quickly turned to resignation. “So you know how I make my living then.”

“It doesn’t make me think any less of you!” Rin asserted. “Rin knows how hard it is to survive when you’re alone. I used to steal food all the time when I was a little girl. From the villagers in my old home or from the fields I would find. That’s why I can’t be angry with that thief who robbed me yesterday. He could’ve been starving for all I know.”

Tsuchi poured herself a cup of tea and sat across from Rin. "Rin, I've been curious about something. That youkai of yours; wherever did you happen to meet him? He didn’t look at all like I imagined a youkai to look. He looked like...well, like a _daimyo_.”

“Did you think he was handsome!” Rin asked excitedly, taking Tsuchi aback. “He thinks you’re pretty too, he told me so,” she added leaning towards the other woman.

“He did?” Rin nodded and picked up her cup of tea to take a sip of it. “How did you end up traveling with him?” the other woman asked.

“Oh, well,” Rin started, “I kinda just, found him in the woods one day.”

“You...found him in the woods?”

“Yeah, while I was out foraging for food. I actually thought he was dead at first since he wasn’t moving, so I brought some water to pour on his head; to see whether he was dead or not, but then he tried to scare me away, so then I realized that he definitely _wasn’t_ dead–”

“Uh huh,” Tsuchi replied. “When was that? Was it after your family…”

“Yes,” Rin answered sadly. “Tsuchi-chan, you don’t have to answer but...how did you end up...doing what you do?”

“Truly...I really didn’t have any other choice. Maybe I would have if I had been older but at the age I was it was very easy for me to be taken advantage of.”

“So you were quite young when you started…” Rin said in a dismayed tone.

Tsuchi nodded. “I had no family, I was starving and eventually I was noticed by a man named Junpei. He said I could earn food and shelter if I let the men he introduced me to have their way with me. He said it was preferable since I would likely die soon otherwise. It would be my first winter without my family and everyone else would be too burdened to offer me any charity.”

Rin hadn’t made it to her first winter without her family. Hers had been killed at the tail end of it, when supplies stocked up on during the warmer months were running out and the bandits were at their most desperate. What if she had stayed in her village instead of leaving with Sesshoumaru-sama after he saved her from the wolves? What if Sesshomaru-sama had decided to leave her in one of the many villages they passed? He easily could have and she would have been no better off save for a nicer kimono than the one she’d started out with. Would she have met her Junpei there, she wonders.

It’s never been a concern of hers before; what sort of life she could’ve had. It’s something she simply had chosen not to think about. It occurs to: she had always thought of it as being that Sesshoumaru-sama had saved her life, but now she realizes that she saved her own life too. That day when she found him in the woods; she knew he could kill her but...so what? She had nothing anyway and if she died laying eyes on the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, then so be it. So she’d taken a chance...and it had changed her entire life.

After spending the afternoon talking with Tsuchi in her hut, about their memories of their families, about the relationship between youkai and humans, about how Tsuchi came to live in that village, Rin returned to the forest where Sesshoumaru-sama was waiting for her. In her hand she carried a bottle of sake she’d bought at the marketplace. She’d been nervous about going back, thinking Nozomu-san would be there, but when she came to the stall it was his assistant she found instead.

Rin was going to miss Tsuchi. She thought about asking Sesshoumaru if they could stay another day and even though she knew he’d acquiesce she knew that stranding him in the same spot in the forest for days on end was making him restless. Eventually, they would have to move on.

She caught sight of Sesshoumaru and happily showed him the bottle of sake she’d brought back. “ _Loook_ what I _haave_ ,” she said in a sing-song voice, holding the sake bottle up. “We should get drunk tonight!”

“I don’t get drunk,” Sesshoumaru told her.

“You don’t get drunk?”

“Not on that,” he said dismissively.

“Then Rin will get drunk tonight!” she announced, holding up the bottle in triumph.

Sesshoumaru took the bottle from her and looked at it disapprovingly. “Is this all you brought back?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You were supposed to be recruiting a harem for me.”

“You said you didn’t want a harem!”

Rin laughed as she grabbed the bottle back but noticed an odd look pass over Sesshoumaru’s face. He began sniffing the air and his gaze trailed over to the patch of forest she’d just emerged from.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, then opened them again.

“Sesshoumaru-sama…”

“Your friend is in trouble.”

Rin stopped breathing for a moment. Then the bottle of sake dropped from her hand as she turned on her heel and dashed back in the direction of the village. She didn’t stop as she heard Sesshoumaru’s voice calling her name from behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

Rin had a moment of terrifying panic when she made it to the outskirts of the village only to realize she couldn’t remember the direction of Tsuchi’s hut. She took a moment to try and compose herself, and with the sound of her rapid heartbeat thumping in her ears, she scanned the area for familiar landmarks. _That way_ , she thought, taking off down the dirt path.

  
  


_Don’t be too late, don’t be too late_ , Rin thought. She realized, not that it was going to help her then, that if she hadn't taken off on him, Sesshoumaru could have gotten her there much quicker. Lost in that thought and staring directly ahead of her she didn’t notice an object on the ground until her foot caught on something soft and wet. Her footfalls came to a halt as she looked down to see a dead hare lying in the middle of the path.

  
  


“Ichi,” she yelled, “Ichi—” She abruptly stopped yelling as she realized, whatever the danger was, it could still be lurking.

  
  


She ran past the dead hare and spotted Tsuchi’s hut not far in the distance. When she came to it, Rin found a familiar crying child sprawled on the dirt outside. “Ichi,” she shouted. She reached the child and knelt in front of him, grasping his shoulders. 

  
  


“Ichi, what happened? Are you hurt?” The boy wouldn’t answer but through his crying she could make out the words “Oka, Oka!” Her gaze found the hut’s doorway; the grass curtain blocking the view inside. She didn’t want to leave Ichi alone but it was imperative she find out what had happened to Tsuchi; if the woman could still be helped. 

“Ichi, I’ll be right back,” Rin told him, although her presence clearly meant very little to the child in that moment. She nervously approached the hut, no longer in the hurry she had been as she sprinted from the forest to the village. The adrenaline had already turned to dread. Bracing herself for what she would find on the other side, she grabbed the edge of the curtain and pushed it aside.

  
  


She only checked for a pulse out of obligation. Her gaze lingered on the woman's curiously bloated face until she heard the rustle of the curtain and saw a billow of white fabric out of the corner of her eye. She turned to look at Sesshoumaru and her eyes caught the two swords at his hip. The revelation was immediate and she sprung to action, bolting up to her feet and clutching Tenseiga’s hilt.

  
  


“Sesshoumaru-sama, onegai,” she begged him, “you have to use Tenseiga on her. Onegai, _please_.”

  
  


“Rin…”

  
  


“I’ll do it myself if I have to!” she said impatiently. She took the sword, unsheathing Tenseiga and holding the blade above her head with both hands. “Where are they?” Rin demanded, her eyes darting over Tsuchi’s prone body. “Where are the minions of the underworld!” She held the blade aloft, imagining she could feel it’s godly, life-giving power.

  
  


“You can't see them Rin,” Sesshoumaru said, “You’re not a youkai and you have no spiritual power,” he reminded her softly.

  
  


“So _you_ tell me where they are so I can cut them!” Rin could still hear Ichi wailing outside and she swallowed. _Had he seen what happened? Had he heard? Had he seen the body?_ Each thought brought a new swell of panic.

  
  


“Rin, give me back the sword,” he instructed her. “You can't wield Tenseiga. It won’t respond to you.”

  
  


“So do something then!” she demanded, lowering her arms and holding the sword back by the handle.

  
  


A clawed hand laid over hers and she let go. The youkai stepped around her and came to stand before Tsuchi’s lifeless body. After several moments his eyes darted to her left side and he raised the blade. It swung down, cutting what was invisible to Rin, and he re-sheathed the sword without awaiting evidence of its success.

  
  


It took only seconds for Tsuchi’s eyelids to blink open. When they did, Rin let out a strangled noise. The unusual bloated quality of her face had gone away and her skin, which moments before was blotchy and red, was returned to it’s natural hue. “Tsuchi-chan!” Rin cried. She knelt down and wrapped her arms around the disorientated woman. 

  
  


“Tsuchi-chan, it’s okay, everything’s alright now.” Rin’s voice was quivering with emotion.

  
  


“Rin?” the woman said in a confused voice, “what are you doing here?” Tsuchi looked around the hut; when her eyes fell on Sesshoumaru she jumped in surprise. She sat straight upright and looked around her, noticing an absence. “Ichi, where’s Ichi!” she demanded, pushing herself up so she could stagger to her feet.

  
  


Rin, kneeling on the floor of the hut, watched her as she shoved aside the curtain and darted out. Outside, she could hear Tsuchi crying her son’s name and a renewal of the child’s sobbing. She felt a hand on her shoulder as Sesshoumaru came and knelt beside her. It's the first calming thing she’s experienced since she’d heard the words that had compelled her to race there from the forest. The moment of clarity made her realize that her heart was still hammering in her chest.

  
  


She let him help her to her feet and Rin walked out of the hut to see Tsuchi sitting in the dirt pathway, holding her son. The woman turned back to face Rin and she looked bewildered; like she couldn’t piece together what exactly had happened to her and how she could still be alive. She looked haunted to Rin. It reminded her that when you bring someone back from the dead, the memories come back to.

  
  


×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

  
  


“It was Nozomu-san, wasn’t it?” Rin asked Tsuchi, the woman holding her cup of tea with shaking hands. The sake merchant was the one who had argued with her at her hut earlier that day; it wasn't hard to connect the dots.

  
  


Tsuchi didn’t answer but a small voice did. “Hai! It was him. I saw him hurting Oka!”

  
  


“Ichi, I told you to wait outside.”

  
  


“I saw it!”

  
  


“Ichi, go find something to do outside,” his mother ordered. “Right now!” The child drew back. With a reluctant look, he scampered out the doorway. The boy’s words repeated in Rin’s mind, making her clench her jaw. It was a painful reminder to her that she’d had to watch her own mother’s death.

  
  


“We need to tell the villagers what happened,” she told Tsuchi insistently. “He..he shouldn’t be allowed to get away with something like this.”

  
  


Tsuchi was shaking her head before Rin even finished her sentence. “Rin, who would believe it? Look at me; I don’t even have a scratch.” She sounded amazed herself.

  
  


“But we have to,” Rin urged. “You need protection from him. The whole village does; they need to know what kind of man he is. Eventually he’s going to find out you’re alive after all and then what will you do?”

  
  


“I’ll be long gone by the time Nozomu-san finds out I’m alive,” Tsuchi's defeated voice said into her teacup, “I’ll leave; go someplace else. I’ve...I’ve done it before.”

  
  


“But Tsuchi, you shouldn’t have to leave!” Rin said adamantly. “This is your home. If anyone should be forced into leaving, it should be _him_.”

  
  


“Rin, _please,_ ” Tsuchi was shaking her head again, “please understand; there’s nothing that can be done. No one will take my word over Nozomu-san’s. He’s a respected merchant and I’m…” she put her cup down, folding her arms protectively across her chest as she paced the small room. “And I wouldn’t even know how to explain what happened. That I was...dead. Killed. And I’m somehow alive now? I scarcely believe it myself. The best thing to do is to take Ichi and start over again somewhere else.”

  
  


Rin sighed at the unfairness of it all. She had to admit Tsuchi was right but she hated the idea of the woman being met with hostility and disbelief by her own neighbors if she came forward. Her gaze fell to the bloodstain on the floor. That and Tsuchi’s similarly ruined kimono were the only evidence that a murder had taken place there. Or at least, the only obvious ones, Rin thought as she noticed how the woman’s fingers were digging into the fabric she wore; her face drawn and her lips set in a grimace. It brought to her mind images of wolves and bandits. The sounds of howling and snarling and her parents begging for their lives—

  
  


“Rin,” Sesshoumaru’s voice brought her out of her head. She looked over to see him standing halfway inside the hut, holding aside the parted curtain. “I don’t know how long you’ll be,” he told her, “but I’m going to leave. I’ll return for you after nightfall.”

  
  


“Hai,” she responded. He nodded and then left again.

  
  


Rin stayed with Tsuchi, helping her to clean up—both the hut and Tsuchi herself. There was dried blood on the woman's body and matted in her hair. After she had cared for Tsuchi she remained with her and her son until they had both fallen asleep. Once the sun had set she waited outside for Sesshoumaru. She felt cold, despite the humid weather, and she wrapped her arms around herself as she leaned against the wooden hut. Even in the faded twilight she could tell that her hair on her arms was standing on end. She tried to think of something, _anything_ , as a distraction but every song or game she conjured to pass the time was quickly drowned by the bile in her throat.

  
  


Seeing a figure in white on the horizon, Rin stood up and nearly broke out into a run to meet him. As they left back to the forest together, she looked back at Tsuchi’s hut and nervously wondered if Nozomu’san might come back. It was said that criminals always return to the scene of the crime, after all. He would still think Tsuchi dead, but what of her son? Was he wondering why there had been no word of a boy running into the village; crying for help after his mother's demise? Would he be tossing and turning in bed that night, knowing he had left a witness to his horrific crime? Or had he simply not noticed the boy? The way the bandits that killed Rin's family hadn’t noticed her.

  
  


Before the village disappeared from sight, Rin took one last look at the flickering lantern lights. She picked one out; imagining that the house it lit was his and then turned away; addressing her youkai companion with an icy glare that could easily have belonged to him.

  
  


“Nee, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

  
  


“Hmm.”

  
  


“Remember how you asked me if I wanted you to do something about the man who bruised my arm?” There was a beat before she heard a “yes” as his response.

  
  


“The man who did that to Tsuchi-chan,” she said, “that was him.”

  
  


Sesshoumaru was certain that it was, being able to hear that part of their conversation from outside the hut. He would really rather not get involved though, given that he was loath to embroil himself in human affairs—one's where Rin wasn’t directly concerned of course.

  
  


Rin’s voice spoke again. “Sesshoumaru-sama, if Rin asked you to end that man’s life; would you do it?”

  
  


The youkai halted his steps and his eyes flitted to her. “You’re asking me to kill for you.” His characteristic monotone hid his surprise.

  
  


“Wasn’t that what you were offering earlier? You were willing to kill him earlier just for hurting me. What he did today was a lot worse, wasn’t it?”

  
  


“Killing that wretched human was never my intention. Not over something so trivial.”

  
  


She crossed her arms in front of herself. “You kill people all the time.”

  
  


He stared her dead in the eye. “It wasn’t something you ever would have wanted.” She didn’t argue with him on that and he continued, “There are those who have done far, _far_ worse to you and you’ve never asked me to take revenge on your behalf, so why now?”

  
  


“It’s not on my behalf,” Rin contended, “it’s on _Tsuchi’s_ behalf.”

  
  


“That woman is none of my concern.”

  
  


“Sesshoumaru-sama, you were there. You saw what he did to her!”

  
  


He had seen. He had _smelled_ what had been done to the woman. There was no question she had been made to suffer before she died.

  
  


“And now she has to leave. This is her home and she can’t even stay here anymore; not as long as _he’s_ around and nothing, _nothing_ is going to happen to him. He’s just going to go on like nothing ever happened but Tsuchi...she’s never, ever going to be able to forget what happened to her—”

  
  


“Rin, _calm down_.”

  
  


“And her son—” Tears had begun to form at the corner of her eyes, “—he had to _watch_. He had to watch while it happened. Do you think he’s ever going to get over that; watching his mother die?”

  
  


For the first time, Sesshoumaru wondered if Rin had ever talked about what had happened to her with anyone. Kaede? Kohaku? One of her friends back in his brother’s village? Not him, though. Never him. He didn’t invite those sorts of conversations.

  
  


He protected her and fucked her and let her follow him around and worship the ground he walked on. He basked in her glowing warmth and feral beauty. And as he watched the tears threaten to fall from her eyes, he thought, _this is what he did instead_ —

  
  


“No,” he said. 

  
  


—He took advantage of her independence and her resilient nature and left her on an emotional island to fend for herself.

  
  


Rin blinked. “No?” she repeated.

  
  


“I, Sesshoumaru, am not going to kill that man for you.”

  
  


She reached up to wipe the tears away with her sleeve. “It wouldn’t be so bad though,” she said, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself. “It wouldn’t be so bad…” 

  
  


“You’re not yourself,” the youkai told her. “This isn’t what you really want. You’d only end up regretting it.”

  
  


“I wouldn’t regret it,” Rin argued. “Not _him_ . Not that man. Not someone who could happily go around ruining someone’s life.” Another batch of tears had sprung up and she dried them with her sleeve again. “Did you see me mourning over Naraku? _No_.”

  
  


“How much do you know about this man?” Sesshoumaru asked.

  
  


“...He’s a sake merchant,” Rin offered up.

  
  


“Does he have a family? Children? Ones who need him or will miss him when he’s gone?”

  
  


“I don’t really know,” she admitted quietly. “Probably.” She looked defeated. “There’s really nothing that can be done. He’s just going to get away with it.”

  
  


“I could still harm him in some less...significant way,” the youkai suggested.

  
  


Rin shook her head. “No...it’s not enough,” she said bitterly.

  
  


Sesshoumaru had never seen this side of her before, if it had indeed existed before. As she had grown up, the innocence and simplicity of her childhood self—which had protected her mind and her heart at her most desperate times—had faded. Not that he thought anything less of her because of it. He never expected her to stay as she had been forever and he didn’t share her sentimentality. There was no twinge of nostalgia when he thought of how Rin as a child had seemed such a bottomless well of optimism and compassion. The only loss he ever felt from this woman was whatever distance came between them. So he beckoned Rin to him and tried to kiss the grim displeasure from her lips.

  
  


×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

  
  


The events of the previous day had proved to be so tiring that Rin had wound up waking much later than usual. It was only her third day waking up there but to Rin, it felt like she had been there a week already. Though she’d just wanted to get as far away from that village as possible by that point even Sesshoumaru understood good manners enough to ask her “Aren’t you going to say goodbye to your friend?” Truthfully, Rin hadn’t even wanted to face Tsuchi, knowing that there was nothing she could do to help her. She recalled her childish whim of asking Tsuchi to come with them and there’s still a sort of hopeless naivete in her that keeps it in her imagination.

  
  


As Tsuchi’s hut came into view she saw her and Ichi standing outside, several traveling packs lying on the ground. They looked as though they were ready to leave already. “Tsuchi-chan!” Rin greeted her. The woman looked up while her son continued to kick at the dirt, dejectedly.

  
  


Tsuchi forced a smile for her visitor. “Rin-chan, hello, I’m glad you came by. We were just about to leave and I wasn’t sure if we’d see you again.”

  
  


“You’re leaving already?”

  
  


Tsuchi nodded. “Do you know where you’re going to go?” Rin asked.

  
  


“We trade with another large village to the east of here. It’s easy to find if we travel along the river,” she said. “If we make good time and the weathers nice we should make it there in less than a week.” Rin heard a jangling sound behind her and turned around to see what it was.

  
  


“Good day, ladies,” said a monk, his staff the source of the noise. “I was hoping you two could help me since I fear I may not be in the right place.”

  
  


“Of course, Hoshi-sama,” Tsuchi said, “what is it?”

  
  


The monk cleared his throat before giving his rehearsed speech. “Well, this morning at the monastery, we received an anonymous message informing us that they had discovered a dead body in a hut. The location was said to be somewhere around here on the outskirts of the village.”

  
  


Rin and Tsuchi exchanged looks. “Although,” the monk continued, “as far as I can tell no one around here appears to have died recently.” He peered over at the hut, suspiciously.

  
  


Rin gestured toward it. “You’re welcome to have a look inside but as you can see, we’re all alive here.”

  
  


“Yes,” Tsuchi agreed. “Look if you must, Hoshi-sama, but I’m afraid we can’t be more of a help to you.”

“No, that’s quite alright,” the monk said, putting up his hand. “You know, I’m beginning to suspect it was probably just some prankster having a little fun with us monks. But thank you for your cooperation.”

  
  


The monk left and once he was out of earshot Rin turned to Tsuchi. “Maybe you don’t have to leave. If you tell the monk about Nozomu-san now he couldn’t do anything to you without everyone knowing it was him.”

  
  


Tsuchi shook her head. “I don’t think I could even stand to look that man in the eye anymore let alone live in a place where I would have to see him everyday. There’s no good that can come of me staying here.”

  
  


Tsuchi picked one of the packs off the ground and swung it around her back. She went to pick up the other one but hesitated and then put her arms around Rin. “Sayonara, Rin-chan. I’m sorry it had to turn out like this.”

  
  


“It isn’t your fault,” Rin replied, hugging her back. “None of this is your fault.” _Come back with me and Sesshoumaru-sama and we can be sisters and you’d never have to feel sad or alone again._

  
  


They parted and Tsuchi picked up the pack and cocked her head toward the path. “Ichi, come along now.”

  
  


The boy trotted after her and the last Rin saw of Tsuchi was her sadly waving goodbye. “Sayonara, Tsuchi-chan!” she called after her. She started her walk back to the forest but changed her mind when she spotted the monk up ahead of her. “Hoshi-sama!” she drew his attention as she ran to catch up with him. “Nee, Hoshi-sama!”

  
  


“Good lady,” he stopped and said to her. “How may I help you?”

  
  


Rin came to walk beside him and they continued down the road. “Hoshi-sama, do you know any prayers I could say for my friend? For luck or good fortune; something like that?”

  
  


“Do you follow the teachings of the Buddha, my lady?”

“Eh...well, not really,” Rin admitted. “Would you say one for her?”

  
  


“If you agree to accompany me to our shrine,” the monk suggested, “and perhaps you could leave an offering?”

  
  


“Oh, yes, of course,” Rin said, glad that she had brought a little bit of money with her.

  
  


They traversed the village and came upon the steeped steps that lead up to the monastery. Rin wiped the sweat from her brow as they climbed up, wondering if it was really necessary for them to go to the shrine together. She changed her mind once they entered the eerily beautiful shrine. It was dark and already lit by numerous oil lamps despite the time of day. In front of them stood the statue of Seishi Bosatsu.

  
  


The monk pressed his hands together and recited the Bodhisattva’s mantra. “On zan zan saku sawaka.”

  
  


Rin wasn’t quite sure what to do so she clasped her hands together as well and silently repeated the mantra in her head. On zan zan saku sawaka—may defilement's be removed.

  
  


“Hoshi-sama,” she asked the monk, “you mentioned a message that had been left here. What exactly did it say?”

  
  


A dark look came over his features. “It’s best I spare you the details. It wasn’t pleasant reading and I’m grateful it seems to have just been a sick joke.”

  
  


Rin swallowed and asked a different question. “Hoshi-sama, the mantra; what does it mean by ‘defilement's?’”

  
  


“Defilement's are any of the negative aspects that cloud your mind. Greed, hatred, delusion, stubbornness—”

  
  


“What should one do if they feel hatred?” Rin asked, “especially very strong hatred for a certain person?”

  
  


“You should mediate,” the monk advised her, “and repeat the mantra. Let Daiseishi’s great wisdom awaken the Buddha’s nature in you.” He bowed to the statue and left the room.

  
  


Rin closed her eyes and repeated the mantra. _On zan zan saku sawaka. On zan zan saku sawaka_ . _May defilement's be removed._

  
  


She tried to clear her mind of any thought that wasn’t the mantra, but the more she attempted to push those thoughts from her head the less she was able to ignore them. _Defilement's_. The word made her think of Kohaku and the jewel shard in his back; of Naraku’s torment. All the times she’d been captured and made a pawn in his twisted schemes. Her uselessness in the face of danger. Not being fast enough to outrun the wolves. Not being able to do anything but watch helplessly as her family died. The sight of Tsuchi’s battered corpse as her child wailed outside—

  
  


A high-pitched laugh broke out, echoing off the shrine’s walls. Rin’s eyes snapped open and darted around the room but she found it empty. “Hoshi-sama,” she tried but received no response. She turned forward again and as she did her gaze caught the statue of Seishi Bosatsu and she recoiled in horror. The statues' previously kind features were now distorted. It’s mouth was stretched with a malicious grin and it’s eyes were narrowed and bulging.

  
  


Rin shut her eyes and re-opened them but the statue refused to return to its original state. She began to crawl backwards on her hands before stumbling to her feet. When she turned to run from the shrine though, she suddenly found herself become paralyzed in place. She heard the sound of stone cracking behind her followed by the heavy clang of part of the statue hitting the floor. The object rolled across the shrine floor until it came to rest at Rin’s feet. The head of Seishi Bosatsu had been chipped from the impact but its features were still gnarled in mania. “May defilement's be removed,” it said as its eyes and mouth began to glow. It repeated the phrase, faster and faster, it’s voice devolving into a crazed squeal.

  
  


“Maydefilementsberemovedmaydefilementsberemovedmaydefilementsberemoved—”

  
  


×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

  
  


Sesshoumaru was starting to become concerned. Rin still hadn’t returned from the village. He had expected her to be back quickly since they’d planned on moving on that day. That was out of the question now; it would likely be nightfall by the time she showed back up. Deciding to go search for her, he first checked at her friend's hut but found it abandoned. He followed the trail of her scent into the village and then to the monastery. Entering the shrine, he found it empty save for the dislodged stone head lying on the floor.

  
  


He frowned. Mixed with Rin’s scent was a dark demonic energy. Along with being deeply concerning, the change in scent made it harder to track. That wasn’t good. If this was what he suspected he would need to find her immediately. It was very possible that she had become possessed; her negative emotions attracting a spirit that sought to use her as a vessel.

  
  


Down in the village below, Nozomu the sake merchant pulled a cloth band over his eyes as he kicked up his feet. He’d had his assistant mind the stall out front so he could take a well deserved nap. He was on edge since there had yet to have been any news of a murdered local woman being found despite his anonymous letter. Not that he really needed to worry; there was never a shortage of sketchy men being seen going to and from the woman’s home. The assumption would be made that the murder had been committed by one of the rougher members of Tsuchi’s clientele and the case would be closed. Satisfied with his assurances to himself, he nodded off, oblivious to the vengeful spirit on its way to him.

  
  


Kosuke listened until he could hear the sound of his bosses loud snoring and discretely opened one of the bottles of sake. Making sure no one was looking he stuck the bottle to his lips and took a long drink from it.

  
  


“On zan zan saku sawaka.”

  
  


Kosuke nearly choked on the liquid as he spun around to the source of the voice. He quickly wiped his mouth and put the bottle down behind the counter. “Yes, how may I help you?” he sputtered. The woman in front of him looked familiar; she had been there the day prior. Today she was curiously holding an oil lamp in her hands, though it had not gotten dark yet.

  
  


“May defilement's be removed,” she repeated.

  
  


“What?” he said, looking at her in confusion.

  
  


The woman climbed up onto the counter and then hopped back down behind it so that she was standing next to him. He noticed her gaze was locked on the curtain that hid his sleeping boss. “Hey, you can’t come back here!” he had barely gotten the words out when he was struck by a blow to his temple and crumpled into an unconscious heap on the ground.

  
  


In her possessed state, Rin began to pick up the sake bottles and dump their contents all over the stall. She picked up another bottle and drew the curtain back to where the sleeping Nozomu-san lay. She hung the oil lamp on the latch of one of the wood pillars. The vengeful spirit in her head urged her on as she approached the man. Rin’s painful memories were the fuel it needed to control her mind and body into doing it’s bidding.

  
  


She walked up to the snoring man and poured the liquid from the bottle over his sleeping form. He startled awake, flailing his hands over his drenched clothing. His head jerked from side to side, looking for the source of the dowsing but he appeared to have forgotten he was wearing his sleeping mask. He jumped up and felt his face, finding the cloth.

  
  


Rin took a small object out of her obi; a sulfur match—a bit of continental ingenuity she had stolen from the monastery along with the oil lamp. She touched the match to the flame of the lamp and the small stick of pinewood had ignited by the time Nozomu-san pulled down his mask.

  
  


“You!” he said in surprise as he recognized her. His face took on an angry scowl but it quickly turned to alarm when he saw the tiny flame Rin held. He breathed in and his nose caught the smell of the alcohol she’d covered him with. He opened his mouth, “No! No, don’t—”

  
  


“May defilement's be removed.”

  
  


She dropped the match.

  
  


×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

  
  


“Rin...Rin... _Rin_.” She opened her eyes as Sesshoumaru gently shook her awake. There was concern etched on his face and his clawed thumb was caressing her cheek. A strong odor caused her to scrunch up her nose. _Smoke?_

  
  


She sat up coughing and caught the sight of plumes of black smoke off in the distance. She focused her vision and saw a chaotic scene. A fire was raging while the villagers all gathered around; some frantically trying to put out the flames as the others simply watched.

  
  


“What—what happened?” Rin asked in dawning horror.

  
  


She staggered to her feet and towards the chaos but Sesshoumaru held her back. “Don’t go near there; you’ve already inhaled too much smoke.” She could feel her eyes burning as she stared, unblinking at the fire. She didn’t exactly know how, but she knew she was the one responsible.

  
  


The youkai took her by the arm and started to pull her with him. “Come on, let's get you to a river; you need water.” Rin was about to protest but she was seized by a coughing fit instead.

  
  


“Sesshoumaru-sama,” she said after she regained her voice, “there had to be people in there. You need to use Tenseiga—”

  
  


“There’s not going to be enough left of them to bring back,” he told her bluntly.

  
  


Her stomach dropped and she turned back to look at the village scene. Her legs felt shaky and she fell to her knees with Sesshoumaru’s hand still hanging onto her arm.

  
  


“Rin,” he said, “it wasn’t you. It was the spirit that took control of you.” She didn’t respond to him. “Rin,” he tried again, “come on, let’s go.” _This village is cursed_ , he thought, as she still refused to budge. He let go of her arm and picked her up so that her legs swung over his left arm and her head was resting against his shoulder. As he carried her to the river the only sounds she made were periodic fits of coughing.

  
  


When they got close to the water, Rin pushed off of him and he let her down. With her arms folded across her chest, she silently walked ahead of him. It was a reversal of their roles from when she’d been a child; her unspeaking as he trailed several paces behind, following her lead. After she had drank from the river, they returned to their camp in the forest. From the time they had left the village to when Rin finally fell into a fitful sleep that night, she had not uttered a single word.

  
  


She remained distressingly quiet for the next few days. For the first time Sesshoumaru actually felt the loss of Jaken’s presence. If anyone could have been relied upon to break the tension between him and Rin, it was that squawking idiot.

  
  


The scent of smoke still lingered on Rin’s kimono. Even with her weak human sense of smell it was enough to drive her to frustration. He had a dog’s nose so he had already been planning on shredding it to pieces and getting her a new one as soon as possible. When they happened upon a stream Rin stripped the garment off and began doing her best to wash out the odor. She hung it up on a clothesline when she was done and wrapped herself in a blanket she’d taken out of her pack. She kept looking back at him while she performed these actions, a sort of pleading expression on her face.

  
  


“Rin, what is it?” the youkai asked.

  
  


“You haven’t touched me.” she said quietly. “Since... _it_ happened. You don't kiss me. You don't try to sleep with me...”

  
  


Sesshoumaru frowned at that. Rin had been so despondent that last few days he’d assumed she hadn’t been in the mood. She always made him aware when she desired him like that; she wasn’t shy. As a matter of fact, she was usually the one who initiated sex between them. It was an arrangement he’d become comfortable with. She came to him; he responded and it was an imparity that he had accepted without question.

  
  


His eyes flitted back to where Rin was sitting, her body naked and inviting underneath the blanket. Maybe she needed him a lot more often than he thought. _She is human after all_ , Sesshoumaru thought as he picked her up in his arms and she wrapped hers around him. He let the blanket fall to the ground and kissed her neck as he sat against a tree.

  
  


Her naked body was in his lap, her back pressed against his chest. He used his right hand to rub between her legs, making sure to keep from inadvertently hurting her with his claws, while he used the other hand to fondle one of her breasts. The incessant gasps and moans escaping from her lips were constantly interrupted by their mouths crushing together. When they were like this, his kisses always came with the slight nipping of his fangs. Not enough to draw blood but enough to give Rin the sensory-overload sensation of a hundred tiny pin-pricks. It was much the same with his claws, gentle enough to leave only barely-discernible scratches but when passing along her skin would make her tingle and shiver in arousal.

  
  


“Sesshoumaru-sama,” she whimpered, throwing her head back onto his shoulder and bringing up her hand to caress his jaw. She tilted her head toward him and he kissed her again, slightly more frenzied since the friction of her body writhing in his lap had drawn all of his blood to his cock. Rin’s hand moved from his jaw down inside his hakama, stroking him up and down his shaft while he continued kneading the mound of flesh in his palm and bruising her lips with his own.

  
  


He removed the hand that was rubbing between her legs—ignoring her noise of protest—and took his cock from his hakama. He pulled her body up slightly, so he could push it between her thighs and started to slide it up and down where he knew her little nub was. 

  
  


“Ahh..ah!” she cried as she grabbed a fistful of his hakama and dug her fingers into it. Her other hand grasped his where it covered her breast.

  
  


“Rin,” he gasped out, sliding his cock along her and covering it with her slick wetness, “Is it too much, Rin? Are you going to come?” he breathed. “Are you going to come?” he demanded through gritted teeth, as she nodded vigorously.

  
  


“Yes...yes,” she whimpered, grinding her hips as she rocked back and forth, the drag of his cock against her slit driving her into a frenzy. She was panting by then, as she came closer and closer to release.

  
  


“I always want you,” Sesshoumaru’s husky voice said into her ear. “Don’t forget that; I _always_ want you.” He ducked his head into the crook of her neck, pressing his lips against her skin to suck a mark into it. Then, cradling the back of her head, he crushed his mouth into hers one last time. Her body convulsed in his lap and she bit his tongue as he stifled her moans, leaving a coppery taste in his mouth. She collapsed against him and he put one arm around her waist, keeping her to him, and used his other hand to stroke himself to completion, gasping out as he came with one last swipe over the head of his cock.

  
  


Rin shifted, moving from having her back to him to laying on her side, her head propped against his chest. “That’s the only time I don’t want to be in control of what my body does,” she said.

  
  


He cupped her jaw and let his thumb brush over her lips—red from being kissed so much and matching the color of her flushed cheeks. _Poor, put-upon Rin_ , he thought, always the nefarious forces of the world were trying to use her for their own ends. Yet, this time it didn’t even have anything to do with him. She hadn’t been kidnapped by one of his enemies to draw him out; he was a bystander in all of this. Sesshoumaru had to wonder what it was about this girl that she seemed to attract the most dangerous forces in the world to her; like moths to a flame. He probably should know; he is one of them after all.

  
  


Sometimes he thinks he’s her bad luck—sometimes he thinks they met because he’s the only one in the world who could possibly protect her.

  
  


Sesshoumaru had a new kimono for Rin by the time she woke up the next morning. He didn’t bother shredding the old one; merely left it flapping in the breeze, the stench of smoke still clinging to it, a part of the fibers themselves. Maybe whoever stumbled upon it would take it as an omen not to head that way. To that cursed village that drew cursed people to play out it’s murderous fantasies.

  
  


Rin returned to her normal self again; singing and picking flowers and asking his opinion on names for their future children, but he was more conscious than ever of what lay beneath her surface. She had always been able to understand things about him without him having to say them out loud, of knowing what was truly in his heart no matter how he tried to make it seem otherwise.

  
  


Maybe in time, he thought, he could learn to do the same for her.


End file.
